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Rehabilitating “The Master’s Oath”

Rehabilitating “The Master’s Oath”

Thinking about the “new project” I mentioned in my last post, I’ve gone back to re-read the final complete draft of The Master’s Oath.

I usually describe The Master’s Oath as my “first complete, mature, original novel.”

I specify it that way because it wasn’t the first novel I ever wrote; that was a rather juvenile swords-and-sorcery piece that I produced when I was about twelve, and no, that one isn’t remotely salvageable. I also distinguish it from the next five novels I wrote, all of which were fan-fiction and therefore not fully original work. The Master’s Oath was entirely mine, written as an adult with all of my skills fully developed, and it was the first such novel I ever managed to finish.

It’s a novel about a White American man (or at least he thinks he’s American, at the start of the story). He’s a U.S. Army veteran who is recovering from serious wounds, suffered in action in the field. Since leaving the military, he has been living comfortably at home, but his existence has gone hollow: no life-partner, few social contacts, no occupation other than watching his investments tick over, no purpose.

One day, he discovers that he is not American in origin. In fact, he isn’t from our world at all. He comes from an alternate-history Earth, one in which things went differently starting in the twelfth century, and where Hermetic magic rather than technology is the foundation of civilization. He accepts an invitation to travel to this other world, where he is welcomed and elevated to the aristocracy. Naturally, this doesn’t work out well for him, but that’s where the story comes from.

The Master’s Oath is a fairly political novel, probably the most overtly political novel I’ve ever written. It’s about democracy as opposed to aristocracy, justice as opposed to elitism, knowledge that everyone can use as opposed to esoteric occult insight. It’s about a man coming to terms with his own inherited privilege and deciding to do something positive with it.

It is also – and this is where I realized how problematic the current draft of the story is – about race in America.

The alternate-historical kingdom where my protagonist ends up is geographically placed in the southeastern part of North America, and it’s temporally placed in the mid-19th century. It’s culturally French rather than English, but that doesn’t evade the central issue. It has all the same original sins as the real-world United States: imperialism, genocide, chattel slavery, and white supremacism.

As a White American author, I have to be really careful how I approach a story like this one. There’s the technical problem of writing with tropes that will alienate a big chunk of the potential audience if badly handled. There’s also the moral problem that arises from the possibility that I’m exploiting the historical experience of others for my own benefit.

So The Master’s Oath has been sitting in my limbo pile for years, and I’ve often said that it will never be published, that it isn’t actually publishable.

And yet, and yet . . . I poured a lot of myself into that story, a lot of the things I believe and that are important to me, more than most of my other fiction. It’s decently well written, with (in my humble opinion) an interesting protagonist, a neat action-adventure plot, and a ton of world-building detail. Going back and reading it now, I see some things I would rewrite if I wanted to take the time. Would that be enough to mitigate the technical and moral issues with the current draft?

It would be nice to have another full-length novel in my catalog, and this one would take much less work to release than writing a new one from scratch.

It’s a conundrum. I need to wrestle with it some more, and maybe seek out some fresh perspectives.

Notes for a New Project

Notes for a New Project

Soon after I stopped spending most of my creative effort on work for the tabletop game industry, I started work on what would eventually become my first mature, original, and complete novel. Its title was The Master’s Oath, and it will never be published.

When I finished working for Steve Jackson Games, I still had a lot of that company’s influences in the back of my mind. In particular, a book Ken Hite had written for GURPS in 2001 (GURPS Cabal) made quite an impression on me. It was that book that made me aware of the Western esoteric traditions for the first time: kabbalah, Hermeticism, Johannes Trithemius, Heinrich Cornelius Agrippa, the Tarot, the Golden Dawn, that whole utterly snarled yet gorgeous ball of yarn. I studied esoterica for years afterward, building quite the library of relevant works, all of which are still in my possession.

Mind you, I’m not by any means a believer or a practitioner. The Western occult tradition was a false trail in our intellectual history, not something that has any pragmatic reality. I still find it useful as a source of creative inspiration. To this day, the attentive reader might notice little scraps of it in my fiction – alchemical or Tarot imagery, that kind of thing.

The Master’s Oath was one product of that period of my life. It was an alternate-history novel, a portal fantasy too, with Golden Dawn-style magic built into the plot. I worked on it from about 2008 through 2012, and that was a fierce and terrible struggle. I learned a lot about planning and writing long-form fiction, about world-building in the service of literary work, about a lot of things not to do. I don’t regret that time spent.

On the other hand, as I mentioned, The Master’s Oath is utterly unpublishable, a fact I only realized after I had congratulated myself on finally finishing my first mature original novel. I’m still proud of the research, the world-building, the quality of the prose in it. Unfortunately, it’s also a deeply problematic piece of work . . . not outright racist, as such, but thoroughly insensitive, with tropes built in that an American White male author really needs to be very careful about. Much more careful than I knew how to be at the time. Probably more careful than I have the skill for even today. So I’ve chalked The Master’s Oath up as part of the “million crappy words” that every novelist probably has to write before he can start making real progress.

Still. Nothing a writer ever learns is likely to go to waste forever. I still have all that esoterica lurking in the back of my head, along with everything I’ve learned as a Freemason, and whole reams of early-modern history.

Finally, I think I may have discovered a way to put all of it to use.

Imagine a world that diverges slightly from our own about the time of Elizabeth I, and becomes significantly different sometime in the early eighteenth century. A world where people like John Dee, Michael Maier, Robert Fludd, and Elias Ashmole were really on to something. A world where the Rosicrucian movement wasn’t just a weird historical joke.

A world in which different ideas and different historical currents might give rise to a different kind of modernity. A different kind of United States, in fact. Maybe even a better one.

As always, when I’m tinkering with alternate-historical ideas, my first impulse is to bring a few games to the tabletop out of my extensive library of historical simulations. For example:

Imperial Struggle is one of the most recent purchases in my library, a grand-strategic simulation of the conflict between Britain and France in the long eighteenth century. Its mechanics are deceptively simple, but the resulting gameplay is deep, rich, and nicely balanced – a great tool for developing alternate histories.

Here’s another one, ironically the very first historical simulation game I ever owned:

1776 is a much older game – my copy has been on my shelves for well over forty years now – but it’s a decent simulation of the American theater of a war that was fought across half the world, and ended with the formation of the United States. It’s nicely customizable too, easy to build alternate-historical scenarios for.

I can think of two or three other games I might be able to bring down and use, too. I have more than enough material to start building a timeline and a “bible” for stories set in this putative alternate reality.

As for the stories themselves? Well, “A Fire in Winter” fits nicely into the emerging structure. In fact, thinking about what else I could write to follow that story is probably what got my hindbrain working on this notion. I’m sure that as I start writing down and organizing all of this, more stories will suggest themselves.

None of which means I’m going to be setting aside other projects, to be sure. I still need to keep making progress with Architect of Worlds, the Human Destiny setting, and The Sunlit Lands. Still, I’ve been in a bit of a rut for the last few weeks, and my creative brain seems to work better when I can shift to a new project once in a while. This may be a promising candidate.

Status Report (28 January 2021)

Status Report (28 January 2021)

The past two weeks have been just about a wash for my creative work. A task at my day job pushed aside just about everything else for about a week and a half. Then, just as that was winding up, I took a nasty fall outside my house and got rather banged up. Nothing was broken and I didn’t need a trip to the hospital, thank goodness, but I collected a fair number of gouges, scrapes, and bruises. I’ve been in a fair amount of discomfort for several days. Kind of hard to focus on creative work, especially since my dominant hand is one of the parts that are stiff and sore. At this point, I’m not likely to hit some of the creative milestones I had in mind for this month.

Not all the news is bad, to be sure. I’d like to praise a couple of my readers, Brett Evill and K. Nakamura, for their work “playtesting” and providing feedback on the current Architect of Worlds draft. The two of them have been going through the current sequence with a fine-toothed comb, and they’ve already found a number of things that could stand to be fixed or improved. I plan to get back to that project in February and will probably be releasing a new minor version to my patrons fairly soon.

Another piece of the Architect of Worlds project will involve writing some material on how to use real-world astronomical data with the design sequence. If you want to build a realistic “solar neighborhood” for your SF setting, incorporating what we know about the stars and exoplanets around us, how do you go about that? I’ll probably at least start working on that next month too.

Meanwhile, since I had more than enough hours on the books at my day job, I’m taking the rest of January off to heal up from my accident and get some writing done. I’m focusing on producing a new partial draft of the Human Destiny sourcebook for Cortex Prime. Right now that’s at about the 16-kiloword mark, and I’m hoping to get a few thousand more words down before the end of the month.

The partial draft of the Human Destiny sourcebook will be this month’s charged release for my patrons. Once that’s out, they’ll get free updates as I continue to work on the project, until the rough draft is completed.

I don’t have any new original fiction to release this month, although I’m considering dressing up a bit of work from my fan-fiction period to show off. I’m also reading a very good candidate for my next book review.

Finally, I’m continuing to make slow progress on The Sunlit Lands, which will be the first sequel to The Curse of Steel. No clue yet when that novel will be finished, but at the moment I’m hoping to release it late in 2021.

The name of the game is persistence and resilience . . .

Status Report (14 January 2021)

Status Report (14 January 2021)

Man, this month is just flying past. There’s a lot going on, and I’ve just about committed myself to a plan for this month’s Patreon release, so it’s time for a general update.

Architect of Worlds: I’ve been stress-testing the current draft of the complete design sequence (version 0.3, which was released to my patrons on 5 January). I’ve found a few minor bugs and tweaks, and possibly some ideas for further development, but nothing that requires major surgery at this point. Along the way, I’ve started developing a new map and gazetteer of the solar neighborhood for the Human Destiny universe. That’s probably going to take quite a while to complete.

Human Destiny: Back in December I completed a partial rough draft of the proposed Cortex Prime sourcebook, as a submission for the Cortex Creator’s workshop. I’ve gotten some useful feedback from that, and I’ve started to write some more new material for this project.

Short Fiction: I don’t think I’m going to release any free new short fiction in January. This is because I appear to be on the verge of actually selling two pieces of short fiction! I need to concentrate on writing material that will actually earn me some income. More about that if and when the deal is completed.

Krava’s Legend: I didn’t get much work done to promote The Curse of Steel in November or December, nor did I get much written on The Sunlit Lands. I’m trying to carve out some time to keep pushing forward with those tasks.

Book Reviews: Since this blog has been listed on a couple of sites for independent book reviewers, I’ve been getting lots of requests for reviews. More than I’ll be able to cover, although that’s not a bad problem to have. At the moment it looks like I’ll be covered for January and February – look for two or three new reviews here over the next few weeks.

Okay, now for patron’s business.

I’m going to institute a new procedure for certain big projects, the kind that are likely to be in development for several months with incremental drafts. It’s in my interest to let my patrons see early drafts, because I might get useful feedback. On the other hand, I’m not comfortable charging my patrons every month for access to the latest versions.

So in such a case, I’ll be charging my patrons in the first month that I release a draft, but subsequent incremental updates will be free to patrons until the draft is more or less complete and ready for publication. (Also, of course, patrons at the appropriate level of support will get a free copy of the finished product, if and when that’s ready.)

The first project to fall under this heading is the current version of the complete design sequence for Architect of Worlds. I released version 0.2 of that in December as a charged release. I updated the document to version 0.3 in early January and will continue to release the occasional incremental update to my patrons as needed. Those incremental updates will be free of charge.

The second project that will come under this heading is the rough draft of the Cortex Prime sourcebook (and setting bible) for the Human Destiny universe. I’ll be releasing a partial draft (version 0.2) to my patrons late in January, which will be this month’s charged release. Subsequent incremental updates to that document will be free of charge.

Haven’t decided what I’ll be releasing in February, but honestly, there’s a lot going on that’s not entirely under my control at the moment. I’m playing things by ear for now. More news as I figure things out.

Short Story Now Available: “A Prince of Tanȗr”

Short Story Now Available: “A Prince of Tanȗr”

I’ve posted a new short story, “A Prince of Tanȗr,” to the Free Articles and Fiction section of this blog.

“A Prince of Tanȗr” is the first story I’ve written in the setting described in my article, “Building a Better Barsoom.” It may be my first attempt at writing a bit of planetary romance, but it probably won’t be the last.

“A Prince of Tanȗr” will also be released to my patrons, free of charge.

Status Report (11 December 2020)

Status Report (11 December 2020)

This is turning out to be a pretty busy month. Here’s the tentative plan for the rest of December:

  • By 14 December, finish a partial draft of the Human Destiny sourcebook for Cortex Prime, and post that so it can be reviewed as part of the Cortex Creators workshop. (Here’s a link to the current draft in Google Docs. Feel free to have a look.)
  • By the end of December, have a much-closer-to-finished partial draft of the sourcebook available for my patrons. That version will probably not be a finished first draft, but it should come to 15-20 kilowords, and it should be playable. This will be my charged release for this month on Patreon.
  • Also by the end of December, finish another piece of short fiction for free release here and to my patrons. I have a couple of candidate stories in mind.
  • Probably post one or two more steps in the Architect of Worlds design sequence.
  • Plan one or two pieces of short fiction for an upcoming anthology. More about this later, once I’m more sure that it’s going to come to fruition.
  • Start working to polish up a Human Destiny novella for publication via Amazon.
  • Work on The Sunlit Lands with what plentiful free time remains.

There’s just not enough of me to go around at the moment, given all the projects I have underway. Although that’s not a bad problem to have.

A Vignette

A Vignette

Another piece of the Introduction for the Human Destiny sourcebook I’m writing. I intended to include a short fictional vignette, but rather than write a new piece I decided to just grab the first page or so of “Pilgrimage,” a novelette I’ve already published in that universe. Hey, it’s my copyrighted material, I can use it if I want to.

“Pilgrimage” is available at this link on Amazon.


Aminata Ndoye emerged from a taxi outside the front gate of her home, in the arondissement of Mermoz-Sacré-Cœur, on a quiet street not far from the sea. As the taxi chirped and drove itself away, she looked carefully up and down the street. Sure enough, she spotted the first of her admirers, in a little park across the street and about half a block away. Three men, standing in the shade of an acacia tree, doing their best not to be too obvious about watching her.

She turned a cold shoulder to the men, waved a hand at the gate to unlock it, and hurried inside.

“Hello, little bird.”

Aminata glanced up, surprised.

A man sat at ease in the shade of the front porch, a cup of coffee in his hand. He was big, not tall but powerfully built, still resembling the wrestler he had been in his youth. His face was long, narrow, and very dark, with close-cropped black hair and a neatly trimmed beard that had just started to show a little silver. He wore a kaftan in deep blue, and a white kufi cap. He rose when he saw Aminata, setting his coffee down on a side table.

“Father!” Aminata hurried forward to greet him. “We weren’t expecting you home for weeks. Is everything all right?”

“Fine, fine,” said Ibrahim Ndoye. He returned Aminata’s embrace and gave her a warm smile. “Everything is in place for the rainy season, and Dr. Guèye has the reserve well in hand. I decided to give myself a few days off, and Supervisor Veshati agreed, so here I am.”

“I’m glad.” Aminata sobered. “Something has happened. I only learned about it an hour ago. I wasn’t looking forward to dealing with it with only Mother’s help.”

“Oh?”

Aminata hesitated. “It’s not something that we should discuss outdoors, Father.”

Ibrahim cocked an eyebrow at his daughter. “Very mysterious. Let’s go inside, then.”

They stepped up and through the door of their house, into the cool peace of the front hallway, where Ibrahim took off his kufi and set it on a side table. Aminata found words had abandoned her. She simply opened her tablet, called up the pertinent message, and handed the device to her father. Ibrahim read it with grave attention, giving no sign of surprise except for a sudden leap of his eyebrows.

“Truly?” he murmured when he had finished, handing the tablet back to Aminata. “A gold card?”

She only nodded, overwhelmed for a moment.

Immediately after Aminata’s sixteenth birthday, her primary education finished, she had undergone a week-long battery of assessments. A genetic assay. A rather invasive medical examination. Trials of her strength, speed, and coordination. Tests of cognitive ability and academic achievement. Extensive psychological evaluations, some of them under stress.

Every human on Earth went through the same process, as he or she approached adulthood. The stakes were very high. Nine out of ten humans spent their entire lives subsisting on the austere comforts of the Citizen’s Allowance. Nine out of ten of the rest might find work, but only under the direct supervision of foreigners. Only one in a thousand would ever earn gold-card citizenship: the elite of conquered humanity.

The process had other implications as well, which Aminata took very personally.

“A gold card,” she said at last. “Our benevolent lords and masters have decreed that I may have as many as five children. Now I’ll have men following me everywhere. I think there are some outside even now, watching the house. Not to mention that I’ve already gotten dozens of messages from complete strangers.”

“Some of them will be men of good family,” Ibrahim pointed out. “Men with worthwhile jobs and real status. You’ll get the chance to pick and choose.”

“That’s not at the top of my priority list, Father.”

Ibrahim cocked a skeptical eyebrow at her. “You don’t want a family of your own? Children?”

“Of course I do,” she said. “Someday. After I’ve seen and done something that will be worth passing on to them.”

He nodded gravely, pleased. “That’s very sensible, little bird. Perhaps it’s one reason why the Hegemony assigned you gold-card status to begin with.”

“Who knows what the khedai value in humans?”

“We can make a few guesses, based on the content of the examinations. Sound genes and healthy bodies. Intelligence. Sanity. The ability to live and work with beings who look different, have different customs, even think differently.” Ibrahim smiled. “All of which you have. Your mother and I never doubted you would do well.”

“They’re breeding us to be good subjects for their empire,” said Aminata, a trace of bitterness in her voice. “Like cattle, who never get to leave the field and see anything of the real world.”

For the first time, Ibrahim gave his daughter a look of disapproval. “They aren’t bad rulers. We saw much worse before the Conquest.”

“At least then, our rulers were human.”

Short Story Now Available: “Fragment”

Short Story Now Available: “Fragment”

I’ve posted a new short story, “Fragment,” to the Free Articles and Fiction section of this blog.

“Fragment” is an odd little story, dressed up as a short scholarly article in the discipline of Assyriology, possibly appearing in a peer-reviewed journal from some other line of history.

“Fragment” will also be released to my patrons, free of charge.

Plans for December

Plans for December

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been making slow progress on the first draft of The Sunlit Lands. I was a bit blocked for most of November, with a sequence of scenes just not coming clear, but I think I’ve pushed past that obstacle.

My original plan was to have 15-20 kilowords of the draft finished by the end of November, and release that for my patrons, but that doesn’t appear likely to happen.

Therefore, there will be no charged release on Patreon again this month. I may have a free short story to share on this blog and with my patrons by the end of November; we’ll see how the Thanksgiving holiday goes.

As I mentioned a few days ago, I’ve been considering the Cortex Prime game system as a potential vehicle for publishing game material related to my literary projects. That’s looking more likely by the day. In particular, I’ve learned that Fandom (the publisher) plans to set up a new version of the Cortex Creator Studio which supported earlier versions of the game. Once that’s in place, it should permit me to write and release game material under fairly congenial licensing terms.

Meanwhile, starting on 4 December Fandom will be holding a “Cortex Creator Confab,” a workshop of sorts, which will allow potential creators to get some exposure and feedback on early drafts of their work. That looks like a superb opportunity for me to get started.

Upon consideration, I’ve decided that the first setting I’m going to try to write up isn’t Krava’s world, it’s going to be the Human Destiny space-opera setting. The end result will hopefully be a complete, Cortex-driven RPG that allows players to take on the role of humans living as subjects of a benevolent (but demanding) alien interstellar empire. I’m envisioning rules that will permit the game to take place on Earth, among the colonized worlds of the Sol system, or out on the interstellar stage.

So, this is what the plan for the remainder of November and the whole month of December looks like:

  • Continue working on the first draft of The Sunlit Lands, with the goal of having a significant chunk of the draft ready for patrons sometime in December.
  • A crash project to write up a big chunk of the Human Destiny setting in the form of a draft RPG based on Cortex Prime, to be submitted for the December workshop. This material should make a good release for my patrons too, and I may post excerpts from it here in the blog as well.
  • I’ve started reading the next self-published book that’s likely to get a review here. Look for that sometime in December.
  • Finally, I have a couple of partial short stories that I may complete and publish as free releases over the next couple of months.

More than enough to keep me busy through the holidays, I should think.

Launch Day

Launch Day

My debut novel, The Curse of Steel, has been available on Amazon since early October. As of this morning, the novel has been launched on Reedsy Discovery – you can visit its launch page at:

https://reedsy.com/discovery/book/the-curse-of-steel-john-alleyn

Reedsy Discovery is a website where independent authors can promote their work, and readers can learn a little about new books before deciding which ones to invest in. Well worth a visit.

In fact, you can help me by visiting the launch page. There, you can read the first chapter of the story, check out its first formal review (five stars!), and upvote the novel. Enough upvotes, and the novel will get further promotion via Reedsy’s newsletter.

Meanwhile, the book is available for sale (Kindle e-book only for the moment, I’m afraid) at:

I’ll admit to being rather proud of my first novel-length venture into original fiction; I hope you’ll enjoy it as well.